But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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