Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem

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  (810): none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem http://tfl.nu/6j6s
  Replies (6) Good night (718) Bad night (1323) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit

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  (925): i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit http://tfl.nu/r71a
  Replies (46) Good night (4929) Bad night (912) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.

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  (770): You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind. http://tfl.nu/3qxe
  Replies (6) Good night (1292) Bad night (2379) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that

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  (406): She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that http://tfl.nu/d627
  Replies (4) Good night (1750) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.

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  (423): I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex. http://tfl.nu/g9ms
  Replies (6) Good night (1361) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.

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  (812): Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/ok5q
  Replies (9) Good night (1090) Bad night (2128) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.

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  (610): this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all. http://tfl.nu/9oal
  Replies (5) Good night (905) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?

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  (360): Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork? http://tfl.nu/kwvt
  Replies (3) Good night (920) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me

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  (814): the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me http://tfl.nu/xcf9
  Replies (13) Good night (1270) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco

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  (850): My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco http://tfl.nu/szsc
  Replies (5) Good night (1310) Bad night (336) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..

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  (919): I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number.. http://tfl.nu/y7re
  Replies (8) Good night (1057) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...

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  (202): I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him... http://tfl.nu/dz07
  Replies (7) Good night (776) Bad night (301)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.

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  (410): It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole. http://tfl.nu/8vko
  Replies (15) Good night (577) Bad night (1941)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?

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  (330): I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit? http://tfl.nu/uql2
  Replies (2) Good night (481) Bad night (193) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.

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  (334): I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now. http://tfl.nu/gi33
  Replies (2) Good night (215) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt

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