I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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