thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
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You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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