Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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