i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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