So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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