What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize