found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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