i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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