then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I deserve this hangover.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize