YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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