Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
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I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
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We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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