I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
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I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
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She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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