Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.

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(206): It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts. http://tfl.nu/etp3

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.

(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

thats a woman

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(709): she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her. (709): thats a woman http://tfl.nu/e6ls

Replies (10) Good night (1166) Bad night (1765)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food

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(720): Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food http://tfl.nu/f7o2

Replies (121) Good night (7473) Bad night (1546) Order T-Shirt
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(516): View more from New York

Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.

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(516): Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects. http://tfl.nu/hkn5

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??

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(919): Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ?? http://tfl.nu/0nsh

Replies (54) Good night (1170) Bad night (4496) Order T-Shirt
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(540): View more from Virginia

just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping

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(540): just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping http://tfl.nu/3wqg

Replies (18) Good night (4766) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
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(614): View more from Ohio

so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'

(740): View more from Ohio

i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.

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(614): so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you' (740): i literally fucking hate you so fucking much. http://tfl.nu/7yl2

Replies (82) Good night (33501) Bad night (1310)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.

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(704): he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen. http://tfl.nu/oi0t

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(386): View more from Florida

Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.

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(386): Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go. http://tfl.nu/vo4f

Replies (11) Good night (679) Bad night (3088) Order T-Shirt
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(703): View more from Virginia

screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.

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(703): screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko. http://tfl.nu/s10e

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong

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(717): This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong http://tfl.nu/jhbp

Replies (22) Good night (1460) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
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(239): View more from Florida

COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING

(646): View more from New York

(239): View more from Florida

Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?

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(239): COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING (646): (239): Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that? http://tfl.nu/ilq5

Replies (2) Good night (1168) Bad night (627)
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(813): View more from Florida

I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.

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(813): I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state. http://tfl.nu/3ssc

Replies (1) Good night (351) Bad night (976) Order T-Shirt
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(515): View more from Iowa

SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.

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(515): SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me. http://tfl.nu/71wb

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(410): View more from Maryland

It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.

(301): View more from Maryland

You have a very discerning palate.

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(410): It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze. (301): You have a very discerning palate. http://tfl.nu/r2sj

Replies (11) Good night (624) Bad night (663)

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