Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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