I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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