I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize