i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize