Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize