I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize