Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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