break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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