He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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