my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I intend to get homeless drunk
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize