I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
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Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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