There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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