I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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