Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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