my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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