Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize