I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize