we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
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I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
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Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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