I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
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I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
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at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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