State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize