If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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