I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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