I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
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He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
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How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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