Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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