You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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