I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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