Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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