So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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