Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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