when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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