My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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