Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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