why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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