hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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