You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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