you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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